To Angeli

This will be a very special post to a special and an older friend of mine. Happy birthday to you my dear friend. It has been nine years since I first saw that little angelic girl wearing those glasses in the our old high school building. It took four years for me to get to know that lady personally. At first I thought she was a child minded type of lady but she proved me wrong that she looks so rational in everything she do. She's not that perfect of course, but she always trying her very best to look so perfect in her special ways. I really loved the attitude of this young lady. Honestly I am a avid fan of her. At her young age I can say she's already a successful woman in her chosen field. As I wish her all the remaining parts of her incomplete happiness to be with her in this new chapter of her life. You are on the right track little woman! I just want you to know I am always here to listen for your stories if you have time. I am always here to share your leisure time If you are not that busy. I am just a text message away to fetch you if you needed someone to go home with (One month to go!). I am just an email away if you think that your resume is not that competent enough. I am just a buzz away if you need some e-books about your first interview's do's and don'ts. I am just a missed call away if you wanted me to harvest your plants in your farm. And I am just an inch away for every success and decision you will be accomplishing and making in your so wonderful and colorful life. I am so grateful that I become part of that complicated life of yours. I am so grateful that you become a close friend to me. I wanted to ask sorry for everytime that I am saying that I always hate you, as I know you know I feel the exact opposite of it of course. I am sorry for the immaturities I always bring to your busy life for the last five years since we become friends. I am sorry for those irrelevant missed calls. I am sorry for those buzz and non-sense emoticons. I just want you to feel the best thing in your life having someone like me that is so stubborn whenever you are online. I am just so blessed that I have a friend like you, who even I don't share my good stories is still there for me to listen to my worst-case scenarios love stories. I know I don't have the right to ask for more to the thing you are giving as my old lady friend. Even I ain't your male best buddy, on which not that too important to me, I still treat you my closest lady friend in my twenty years of living here in the world. Now on your twenty-first birthday I want to tell you, You deserve all the things that you have right now, but those ain't yet enough for a lady like you. You deserve more and better. As I wish you'll find those things in this year or the next coming years. Goodluck to your career, I hope I will be like you in my next one and half year as a college student and a board taker.

"You are such a perfect lady for every man's eyes."

I wish you all the best as I am always here for you, my best lady buddy.
Happy Birthday to you Angeli Anne F. Pascua!!!

Good To You

Please put some words beneath the time posted. :)
I want long reactions because my middle finger is aching while doing this thing.
No words like FART! or else..... :)

Point-Blank

Here I come again. My overflowing emotions are carrying me into another undecided state. I hate those things that happened to me and to my fingers. But look, I am still writing even with that restriction. That is the proof that I just can't let go my favorite hobby which is writing- in any means. The big deal why I am writing right now is the fact that I felt so unsure for the last five days. A strange feeling embraced me anew. An old feeling that I threw because of my immature mind and immature heart. But now after four long years, Am I matured enough to try to get this feeling again? Or maybe I am just on a mode of sympathy for someone who was crying for someone who I think don't even deserved a single tear coming from her. I think I deserve more than that wicked man. But who am I? I'm such a young man still trapped in his past emotions, and confusingly trying to get that feeling again.

"If this is a joke, I hope people, including myself, treat this literally as a joke. If this is not that way, so what is this? Because this ain't that funny, this seems so scary for me."




Trying To Get The Feeling Again

Bittersweet Cheese

I miss my writing sessions badly. A lot of school stuffs are a little bit done for the next one and half week I guess. It is my time to make up for those lost time. It is kinda awkward because for the past few days I'm attempting to make a new post in this blog, I just can't find the right word how to start it. Today I am making this post out of nothing. I want to share something that I still don't know. I want to confess for something that I ain't sure. I am still hurting for that damn lady. I know I used to loved her so much before, but right now all the feelings that I am into are very awful and full of despair. I can't take the fact that I am here all myself all alone. I still just can't take it. I just can't accept the word "TRUTH" even I witness all of those fucking things with my both eyes. I can't make myself realize that I nothing at this point of time. My efforts, my feelings and my inspirations that give me a lot of meaning on how to live life differently just collide in a blink of my eye. I am so affected on all those things develop not in my own benefit but with her another man. I am quite sensitive on the things their telling me, quite emotional on the pictures that I am looking and quite indifferent on every person who talks like they knew all those pain hiding in my smiles. I am like this just because of one reason. I am pitying myself deeply. It seems that I didn't sacrifice a lot of things just to have my world-renowned ANGEL. Today that cherubic creature seems so devil in me. I hate her for making me feel this way. But there is nothing that I can do, The only thing left for me is just to move on. What the heck?! What a word! What a world. This is so cruel. I can't help myself to cry every night whenever I am alone. Can't make help myself to look so far away just not to see those couples holding hands. Can't make myself realize how she dumped me and buried my whole world on the a hole she dig especially for me. I am so disappointed for these weird and unjust things. She makes me wonder if she really is the ANGEL that I'm into almost for the last two years of my life. But she proved me that I am wrong. I can't deny the fact that the feelings are still there, but I guarantee you damn lady, I am not into you at this moment in time. Stop assuming that I am. What the hell are you thinking? Yes, I am so sad for the things you brought in me in the past few weeks. But I need to better get going because a lady like you, don't deserve a cheesy young man like me.

"Stop pretending that you are an angel, because you're definitely not a heaven sent."

Howie Day - Collide