Shout It

I need to hear a sweet song for me to get going on my writing moment. I need a break for a pulsating and shocking first week of our class. It is a little bit different compare to a normal opening of classes way back. But this time, I feel lesser pressure. I think I'd already passed those critical moments. By the moment I should be reading two chapters of my book a.k.a. xerox copy in our major subject for the sake of having a term paper to be pass on the next day. But something is bothering me since the end of third day of the weekdays. A deep sense that I felt when I was twelve. An exciting feeling that drives me crazy. Act like a child, Fell like a child. Eight years changed in a very detailed manner. Attitudes, looks, friendships, quarrels and the most significant our emotions. In my freshman days in there is someone that my friends and I called our -crushes. They have their own, I have my own too. All of those persons are just a door away from our classroom. Every recess and lunch break after eating, we used to stand outside our front door to spot those lovely, not ladies yet, but lovely girls and they're so cute and charming during those days and way better by this present moment. I cannot describe her in this post by the reason, that I still deeply infatuated to her. I don't get the fact if she knew it though, but I have a sensible feeling that she didn't knew it. Because I didn't said it to her at first place. But I really want to. Crush to infatuation, to a friendly love to a real and serious feeling. But I can't take the risk. I work so hard for the last eight years to be in the place where am I right now. I just cannot gamble that lifetime for me. I know, I'm so carried away by this emotions since that day. This is truly larger than life experience for me. I can't make decision because I don't want to decide. I don't like to give up something for a thing that I know will not benefiting me as a person and as a real man. I want to shout this thing in the whole wide world right now. But something is hindering me to do it. Someone repeatedly whispering me, Better not to do it. Better not to do it. I guess she's my guardian angel!

How I wish I could turn around those p. m.'s .
Better not to do it. Better not to do it. Better not to do it.




White-Horse

Begin with the end in your mind

This is a late post of mine.

A post for a inspirational line in our review subject by a renowned journalist himself, on which he told us "Begin with the end in your mind". The line is kinda catchy when I first heard it. I thought it was a riddle. But I end up reading those lines, seriously. I mean Dead Serious. The man behind those line encouraged us in an unlikely manner. By means of his cliches, and flowery tongue on which very pleasant to my ears and mind. It made me realize a lot of stuff. I know the place where I am right now is not the perfect place where I should belong. But this is the perfect time to be at this place though. A friend of mine told me, she made herself realized that she needs to give her best at this moment. Especially the moment after the graduation. For me it is the same thing. I maybe needing a little bit longer road to overcome compare to them, but I would definitely face it courageously. I know I'm different, but we're on the same road heading at the same destination. As I know, I need to be with them on their soon to be "happy ending" by next year.

Arrivederci

Two months vacation are now only down to two days. The long break will soon finds it long lost end. Most of my schoolmates this vacation will be their last as a college student. For me its not. I'd stop a semester before and that is the reason for my delay graduation. I still have one left. I should better spend it wisely and meaningfully. I'm not saying that my vacation this year is not that meaningful nor spend unwisely. This break was also great. My computer potentials by now was better a year ago. A lot of accounts too. Windows Live is the latest addition. But the highlight of '09's Summer Vacation will be FACEBOOK, especially Texas Hold'em Poker. I'm super addicted on this application. Don't know how to play it at the start but it doesn't hinders me to learn this witty game. By this thing alone, my vacation spends wisely at a higher level. Hahaha! Just kidding. I definitely engage this break with a lot of writings. Three categories of blog isn't enough for me eh? My blogs from its birth encounter a major crisis. But I already resolved it. I write my thoughts, post it and reflect other things about it. Its just a habit for the last eight weeks. Now that the hectic schedule of the school is coming by as early as Monday, my blogs will face another constraint. I guess it definitely will. Just a little bit. I need to strive harder on days to come. Dreams are what I build here. Dreams that will be my path to a better future. My other frustrations will be a little bit awkward if I didn't refrain doing it, simultaneously with the studies. I need to be 101 % focus and fully determine. I need to make sacrifices. As I do hope I can make it. I need to give up a part of this blogs for my life long dream. Seriously I cannot live without my blogs especially this vacation. This is my personal outlet in terms of being mad, sad and bored. I still be reflecting unto this blog, don't worry about it. But I will just limit it. As I truly love this online journal as my ever wanted lady. With that love I'll be leaving you all guys a line that says...

"When there's love, there's Sacrifice."


I'll be seeing you soon guys!
Arrivederci!

Me to You, You to Me

I'm Sorry

This is for a lady whom I misquoted.


I didn't intend you to think about it that way. I just got carried away from my emotions that also involves something that is similar to you. I didn't think first before I write those words. I didn't consider the sensitivity of the issue. I'm sorry about it. Sorry for the fact that I got so prejudiced about it. I just wanted you to think positive over it for the next seven and half weeks. I wrote the wrong words that results a misinterpretation. This shouldn't be a big deal for myself, but on you, It is larger than life. I'm sorry. I just got flanked out my own stories about it. I hope you understand. Again my apologize is with you.


Believe and Deep in my heart, You will!

If you read this, please comment below so I know I'm already forgiven.



Sorry Na

I am & I will

Two months and sixteen days of doubts were now all brushed out. Apologies and worries were over now. Back to the basics I guess. I wanted to take this spaces to say thank you for a lady I admired the most. I never thought I will holding this chance for another time. I mean for the last time. I will not say it frankly, but I know by now there's nothing left for me to do. She gave it all back to me. It's my time to give it back to her. Come to think of this line by a friend of mine named MAIAH ( as her shoutout ),

"I'm not saying goodbye, I'm just letting go."

I'm not a person who give up for nothing. I will do this because of what I feel about her. But giving up in a witty situation like this is the best remedy. Nothing in regards to feeling will change. But I will preserve one thing in contrast on what I feel. I cannot lose her for another time. Time is very critical by now. I want to be with her in her remaining days as a student. Even I'm just a friend. I'll accept it. Acceptance is the best thing to do right now. No complications with that though. It's the best thing for me for the moment. I am very happy on how things works fine especially this day. I am grateful that for another time/chance/friendship, my so called ANGEL, had given to me. As I will not promise one last time, I will never break this last golden opportunity she had given to me. I will just do it more than words, more than the writings of this blogs, because definitely I Will.

As I leave all of you guys these cute song.

The Beatles - I Will