Shout It

I need to hear a sweet song for me to get going on my writing moment. I need a break for a pulsating and shocking first week of our class. It is a little bit different compare to a normal opening of classes way back. But this time, I feel lesser pressure. I think I'd already passed those critical moments. By the moment I should be reading two chapters of my book a.k.a. xerox copy in our major subject for the sake of having a term paper to be pass on the next day. But something is bothering me since the end of third day of the weekdays. A deep sense that I felt when I was twelve. An exciting feeling that drives me crazy. Act like a child, Fell like a child. Eight years changed in a very detailed manner. Attitudes, looks, friendships, quarrels and the most significant our emotions. In my freshman days in there is someone that my friends and I called our -crushes. They have their own, I have my own too. All of those persons are just a door away from our classroom. Every recess and lunch break after eating, we used to stand outside our front door to spot those lovely, not ladies yet, but lovely girls and they're so cute and charming during those days and way better by this present moment. I cannot describe her in this post by the reason, that I still deeply infatuated to her. I don't get the fact if she knew it though, but I have a sensible feeling that she didn't knew it. Because I didn't said it to her at first place. But I really want to. Crush to infatuation, to a friendly love to a real and serious feeling. But I can't take the risk. I work so hard for the last eight years to be in the place where am I right now. I just cannot gamble that lifetime for me. I know, I'm so carried away by this emotions since that day. This is truly larger than life experience for me. I can't make decision because I don't want to decide. I don't like to give up something for a thing that I know will not benefiting me as a person and as a real man. I want to shout this thing in the whole wide world right now. But something is hindering me to do it. Someone repeatedly whispering me, Better not to do it. Better not to do it. I guess she's my guardian angel!

How I wish I could turn around those p. m.'s .
Better not to do it. Better not to do it. Better not to do it.




White-Horse