REQUIEM

This is my first formal day of my vacation.


It feels like a new life for me. Burdens are still bothering me this past five days I guess. But there is nothing I can even do to fix those things. A lot of immaturities occur this week. A lot of awkward actions have done, and also awkward reactions too. I know this burden really kills me day by day. But there is nothing I can do about it so far. Explanations, Frustrations and Commotions are bit exaggerated in this problem I guess, and I'm so sick about it. I always wanted to fix things as soon as possible, but I guess with this, I might fail. To whom it may concern; I am really sorry about what stupidity that I did. I can't explain it any further because you ain't listening to me. But I will say this once again, I'M SORRY. Forgiven or not, its up to you, but I guess this is my right path to fix it, and I did my very best and my part in this problem. I truly disappoint you about this unmanly manner. "I am a man without a word." . But please, I am just human, I'm able to commit mistakes beyond my intention. I did things with the thought that it'll be okay with you, but I'm wrong. I disappoint you so much. I disappoint them so much. I disappoint myself again, SO MUCH. and this thing is like stabbing my chest with my eyes wide open. What things should I be doing right now? I can't think anymore. I can't produce any ideas about it anymore. It truly kills me right now. I'm so frustrated. I can't help myself to cry. Don't want to hear the word I hated for so long, not this time, PLEASE.

I just did what I thought to be the BEST. I thought it was the best, and so I DID

I just did what I thought to be the BEST.

I went to chapel, early Monday morning, to pray two special things in my life. First was the result of our Final Examinations. Last, I'd pray for her, and prevent the worst things that might happen. Tension are all over me. I'm shivering under the sun. My heart beats faster and its very odd. Result of one of those thing might spell the other inversely and conclusively. I got to the front of the office with my hands full of sweat and with a cold heart. In the edge of the bulletin, results are already there. Strangely, I didn't look on the first page first. I proceed to the last, I guess it was the third. I ain't expecting much for the results of my exam to be higher than average. My name is not on the 3rd page. Then I'll go to the second. Again, it wasn't there. My heart beats so faster and so faster, sweat are all over my face. Glance the first page, but didn't see my name either. Slowly starting at the bottom I read the surnames one by one. Not in the bottom neither in the middle. As i proceed on the upper half. Unfortunately, my name is there. Number 5 is it. Tears exited the side of my eyes even I have the contacts. Tears of joy, indeed. God is so good. I didn't expect so much, because I just pray for just what is enough for me. Gratefully, He give me a one big gift that I will remember all my life. He give me the chance to prove that "I AM ABLE. I AM ABLE TOO." I deserve this to throw all the doubts in my head and heart especially this semester. This is the best thing that I claim to be my greatest moments in college. I know I've done it before. More than what I've did. But this is different. This is much special. And I want to thank God that I did it, and did it on His Name.

I offer that thing for her so much at first place. I'm so inspired taking up the exams. So inspired reviewing and practicing the ideas for the whole semester. But, that couldn't be enough.

I thought it was the best, and so I DID.

I can't sleep for two straight nights by now. I cried so much. I can't realize my mistakes. I know I'm wrong but I just can't put in my mind that I've done a huge damage in her by a simple thing compare to me. I know, I am wrong, but I ain't do it intentionally. I just thought that, that will be fine to her. I just thought it will just adds beauty on it. And I was wrong for it. I don't deserve this. First of all, I just did it because I love her. I love her and I did it because I'm so inspired. I'm so inspired to write in that blog. Yes, I am a blog person. And Yes she didn't like to be on what I want my place to be. Writing is my Life. She is also my Life. Writing is there before she came and She came to me by writing. Very synonymous, but it is true. I put that photo just to make it clear that she was the one whom the blog refers to. I'm a bit selfish bout it because I didn't think what might she feel. My emotions just carried me away. My major mistake is I just so stubborn. I can't understand those things in an instant. I know I am always the exception, that is my attitude. But I guess, I'm done. And I just let it go once again.

Prayer

To our dear Lord and To my Angel,

Tomorrow will be a important day to all of us academically. I really want all the luck and grace will be bestow into us. We all needed this. I know this will be hard, but just pray and everything will be okay. He will always provide what we need. I just take a fifteen minute break to say this little prayer for our success later on. Wish you all the best. Just say His Name. Departmental reminds me of you so much, that was the day I saw you in a pink dress, on which my inspiration in writing the "pink angel" into this blog. As I wanted you, to see anew in that dress, before you leave us by October. Again, I pray and I hope that things by tomorrow will be fine, May He guide us during the examination and give us the grace and capacity to think and remember those ideas we red and practice way back a couple of hours ago, especially to my one and only angel, Please guide her, and so Am I.

Amen

Missing You

I still can find this much needed motivation for me to strive harder for this upcoming examination week. Lot of things are still in my mind above those academic genres that I needed to set aside especially this week. I know I'm feeling better than a year or a semester ago, but it doesn't seems that I ain't that well motivated to study. I know this should be at the top of priorities, but how can I configure those things if myself telling me, she's also now my second priority. I am emotionally depressed. Emotionally tortured and Emotionally afraid that I will be losing someone that I don't really have.

I am so scared of lot of stuffs. Time is my worst enemy by now. She give me a lot of reasons why should I be like this, better than what I am before. She is the best thing that happened to me here in college. I cannot afford to lose her for just another time. Not this time, not anymore. God truly define that gifts are not always the ordinary type of it. She came to my life unexpectedly. She changed a lot of things about me without knowing it. By now, I wanted to return the favor to her. I hate to see her frowning about those not worth it persons. I never wanted her to see so gloomy, because I want her to see so blooming. I wanted to become a part of her, still waiting for her so much. In Seven Months, time probably come to an end but not permanently. If still we don't see each other in each other lives as one , I still promise her, that I will still be waiting. Time after time. I just wanted her to know that I am waiting for the right time until she will be free. Having freedom of everything especially for one thing that I'd always praying for her to come to,her universal happiness. She is my happiness. Still wishing to be her man someday. Because I want her to be my lady.


Missing you so much, my angel.

MIB : Majin, I & the Blogs

“Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have. When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times”

-Steve Brunkhorst

It has been a night of Blog, Frustrations and Friendship.

Tonight, I’m so grateful for MAJIN’s appreciation for a simple line i brought across her blog. The blog she has,was so cute but deeply sincere. I’ve red a couple of lines of her so called diary, and I’m shocked too that her blog seems to be also a part of her day, her week, her months, all over her years. For the two of us, a BLOG truly signifies our Weakness and Strengths, Courage and Guts and Emotions and Sentiments. MAJIN is a very charming person. Always smiling and of course, “A Legend in a Making”. If I can describe her as a friend, as a person, and as a blogger, it will be “ASTONISHING” She seems very perfect in all aspects of her life I guess, except for one thing I guess. It will come my friend. Just remember, “He will always be there for you, also searching and waiting for you too”. Don’t lose hope!

Thanks for the post, MAJIN.
Appreciate it more than what you think.
Keep Rocking On Girl!
Keep Blogging on Girl!

Let Spread the “WORDS OF OUR LIFE”.

Mulţumesc foarte mulţ!

Week of Her

Having a Monday as soft as your smile,
Hunting your face just across a mile
Will starts a perfect weekend of mine,
On a journey seeking for a sign.

Tuesdays with you are just like heaven,
Completes me from day one to seven
As my heart beats faster and faster,
Thinking I’m your slave and you are my master.

The list of my plans by Wednesday,
Includes a flowers in a bouquet
Lot of cakes and chocolates by dinner,
Of course, You, to make it much sweeter.

Hoping Thursday will end very different,
Thinking one of a kind of event
Of solemn night of uncountable stars,
As I promise to love you without scars.

In truth, you have a very charming face,
I splendidly called it my Friday’s grace
Staring it just make me stay in my place
A blessing that nothing could ever replace.

Saturdays without you are so boring,
That beauty in you, simply worth adoring
You're the best blessing in my life this week,
Caring so much for you, more than what you think.

After I thank God in this wonderful Sunday,
I wish I can take you across the bay
To show my love for you, is like the sea
That I'll be waiting 'til you're finally free.