I just did what I thought to be the BEST. I thought it was the best, and so I DID

I just did what I thought to be the BEST.

I went to chapel, early Monday morning, to pray two special things in my life. First was the result of our Final Examinations. Last, I'd pray for her, and prevent the worst things that might happen. Tension are all over me. I'm shivering under the sun. My heart beats faster and its very odd. Result of one of those thing might spell the other inversely and conclusively. I got to the front of the office with my hands full of sweat and with a cold heart. In the edge of the bulletin, results are already there. Strangely, I didn't look on the first page first. I proceed to the last, I guess it was the third. I ain't expecting much for the results of my exam to be higher than average. My name is not on the 3rd page. Then I'll go to the second. Again, it wasn't there. My heart beats so faster and so faster, sweat are all over my face. Glance the first page, but didn't see my name either. Slowly starting at the bottom I read the surnames one by one. Not in the bottom neither in the middle. As i proceed on the upper half. Unfortunately, my name is there. Number 5 is it. Tears exited the side of my eyes even I have the contacts. Tears of joy, indeed. God is so good. I didn't expect so much, because I just pray for just what is enough for me. Gratefully, He give me a one big gift that I will remember all my life. He give me the chance to prove that "I AM ABLE. I AM ABLE TOO." I deserve this to throw all the doubts in my head and heart especially this semester. This is the best thing that I claim to be my greatest moments in college. I know I've done it before. More than what I've did. But this is different. This is much special. And I want to thank God that I did it, and did it on His Name.

I offer that thing for her so much at first place. I'm so inspired taking up the exams. So inspired reviewing and practicing the ideas for the whole semester. But, that couldn't be enough.

I thought it was the best, and so I DID.

I can't sleep for two straight nights by now. I cried so much. I can't realize my mistakes. I know I'm wrong but I just can't put in my mind that I've done a huge damage in her by a simple thing compare to me. I know, I am wrong, but I ain't do it intentionally. I just thought that, that will be fine to her. I just thought it will just adds beauty on it. And I was wrong for it. I don't deserve this. First of all, I just did it because I love her. I love her and I did it because I'm so inspired. I'm so inspired to write in that blog. Yes, I am a blog person. And Yes she didn't like to be on what I want my place to be. Writing is my Life. She is also my Life. Writing is there before she came and She came to me by writing. Very synonymous, but it is true. I put that photo just to make it clear that she was the one whom the blog refers to. I'm a bit selfish bout it because I didn't think what might she feel. My emotions just carried me away. My major mistake is I just so stubborn. I can't understand those things in an instant. I know I am always the exception, that is my attitude. But I guess, I'm done. And I just let it go once again.