"Why do writers write? Because it isn't there."
A reflection

The half of our semestral break is now already over. Yet I haven't done so much productive and interesting except for this blog of mine. I must be in the wedding ceremonies of my friend right now but sad to say, I didn't made it. I'm quite contended being at home in the few days, because the weather is so damn volatile. It is truly like a moody woman as they say. Today I am about to reflect in a line that i red two nights ago. The quotation that I place in this blogs that said "Why do writers write? Because it isn't there." made by Thomas Berger.

"Why do writers write? Because it isn't there."

So why do I write? A sense of contentment bestowed in me whenever I write something. When I was on the sixth grade, I realize on that early age that I can write good, on which my History teacher ask the class of ours to make a homework, a poem about a certain topic in our lesson. I remember that the topic is our country's historical heroes, the propagandist and the revolutionist. I can't barely think of my first line in my first stanza. I cannot make myself in a position to start something I really don't know. The only thing I know about a poem is it have a rhyme in the last parts of those lines per stanzas. That it have right and exact number of syllables in the whole poem. Then I start my first poem in my writing life. I do not have the original copy of that poem today. Even doesn't remember anymore those lines. The only thing I remember back then is ,on my first try to share my literary skills on public, my teacher gave me the highest grade being the Best Poem she red in our class. The feeling was unlikely. What a kind of happiness went deep inside of me during those moments. On that day whenever there is a activity involving poems, I really strive harder, put up my best and join in a competent manner when we have those activities inside of the class. At young age, I've spotted myself being a introvert type of person. I didn't compete outside the four corners of our classroom. Not because I didn't want to, but I just don't to be that much publicize to prevent being criticize. I know my work is not that perfect especially my grammars. I just hate to be emotionally inclined about my works especially writing. I just want my feelings and emotions on the top of me every time I write. I didn't pass any poem in our School Organ, our official newspaper for the reason again of being critize unevenly. On the first place, I write because I academically need it. I don't need it personally during those days.

Then suddenly after a year, I need my work personally and emotionally. For the first time I felt in love, deeply in love for a girl. She is my classmate and she is very beautiful in my eyes on those years. Her hair is long, She's quite lean and tall. Having those metallic smiles really melts me whenever I saw her everyday. At my uncorrupted mind, she is the one for me. On those days, I learned the meaning of the word inspiration. Being inspired on which pushes me to write poems unacademically. I have one that I'd given to her. Send another one in her locker. I put a paper in her bag. On which I write my name as the author of those. Obviously she likes it too. As the rest is history in both us. I am writing for the sake being inspired. Words that I used are just representation of my gratefulness being a position that you have all the reason in the world why you need to smile to.

Emotions are gone higher and higher. Unexpected things went in. Depression is the next reason why a man like me used to write. Being frustrated is such a difficult thing to overcome. Being sad about the results of exams, cannot configure the things that a relationship should be fixing that will equate for a misconception will put me in a moment to write and confess my world renowned-frustrations. Writing became an outlet for me to release somehow the pain in my heart. Forget the moment I badly engaging. Writing is my way of escaping my problems, though in reality I didn't evade it. Liquors are the same with my pen and paper. I can be relieve for a moment. Be in a world that I haven't gone yet. For me to realize those remedies to save my world of frustrations, I know Writing plays a big part on it every now and then.

I write for three things, I need to do it, I need to deal with it and I need to forget about it. So what the thing lacking? What is the thing that Thomas Berger said wasn't there? On that night that I'd red those inspiring lines, I realized the missing piece he's intended tell me. The thing that is missing is the feeling of being incomplete. A lot of things were already in our world, but definitely we cannot have it all. We write because we feel we need to have something. A something that will complete everyone of us, as a person. I write to search for myself. I do write because I still looking for a better piece of me. I am still writing because I am still incomplete. I will continue to write for the reason that it gives me a unique deep of satisfaction that will help my journey as the pages of my life continues. I will write until the day I will find the thing Mr. Berger telling me, right in front of my eyes, right here by my side and right here inside of me.